Essie Summers Season of Forgetfulness (pdf)

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.' His eyes met hers smilingly.'Of course I can realise why.She thinks Godfrey is the better man.And so he is.It's all so right for you,Valancy, isn't it, the man and the setting?'She lifted candid eyes to him.This wasn't pretence.She said simply, 'That'sthe way of it, Justin.' Because it was, only he didn't know this part of it wasmake-believe.She saw Godfrey watching them, and for once did thesensible thing walked straight across to him, in the window embrasure,put her hand in his, turned so their backs were to the others and said, 'He'sjust told me you're the better man.I agreed.' Nothing more could be saidthen.They had to get ready.Sitting in the pew they had always occupied with the Hughes family,between her father and Godfrey, with Justin and Greer at the other side ofhim, Valancy had the strangest feeling that she was only dreaming this.Later that night Godfrey said to Valancy, that he was now glad for Justinand Greer's sake they'd played this charade.'Till now it was for your sakeand for Mrs Hughes, because I felt you were the one who'd had the thick endof the stick, but I can see the frightful strain they were under.They musthave felt so guilty, not just in the neighbourhood and in the church, but inthe office too.That's why I thought it a good idea to go into the firmtomorrow with you.' He twinkled and the grey eyes looked more blue thangrey.'Mr Anderson will be quite convinced now that it was a very shortseason of forgetfulness.' She blushed vividly.'You blush so enchantingly,Valancy.'She said, with feeling.'It's a great drawback.I've always wished for an oliveskin, that I had a poker face, that I didn't betray my feelings so quickly.''I don't know that you do, Lancy.I've no idea what that blush meant.Blushes can be for pleasure, warmth of feeling, or embarrassment.Even thedread of blushing can make the colour rise.And women don't have that ontheir own.Young boys can dread colouring up.Anyway, women who don'tblush or don't cry are cold creatures.'She blinked.'You surprise me, Godfrey.'His look was whimsical.'I hope to surprise you often.Let me tell you this.when Aunt Helen speaks of Kathleen as the gentle Kathleen, she doesn'tmean it as a compliment.She only appeared gentle at first.In actual factshe's as tough as they come.I never remember her blushing or crying.'Some innate honesty made Valancy say, 'Godfrey, when she thoughtCarlotta had been sharing your room she might have stemmed back the tearsin front of you.She might have cried at night, alone.'He looked at her in the most exasperated fashion.'There are times, MissAdam-Smith, when I could beat you! You're a contrary little devil.Youalways want to find excuses, to patch things up that are beyond repair.When you're on that tack, there's only one way to silence you.' He kissedher, not gently.Valancy put nothing into that kiss.They were at the bottom of the stairs andshe was acutely aware that at any moment someone could erupt from a door.The aunts did, from the kitchen.Aunt Cecilia waved a majestic hand, 'Don'tlet us interrupt you, we're just passing through.''Thanks very much,' said Godfrey just as calmly, 'but be sure to close theliving-room door, won't you?'Valancy turned and fled upstairs and heard him follow.At her door sheturned to face him.'You devil!' she exclaimed, 'I can see wedding-bells inmy aunt's eyes.And it's all your fault.'He caught her hands.'Why should that worry me? After all, I asked you,only this morning, if you'd marry me.'She bit her lip, then said coolly, 'And I turned you down.Said thatsecond-best wasn't enough for me.'For the first time she saw him look really hard, angry.'I know it's too soon.But you might, in fact must, consider it.''Must?' Now she was furious.(She longed to hurl hot words at him, to say:'Why?' then add, 'No, don't tell me, I know so well why! Because you wantto found a dynasty at Inchcarmichael.and I'm the girl on the spot.Andsuitable.'')But she didn't.She might give herself away.His fingers dug into her shoulders.He'd like to shake her, she knew.For onehorrible moment she exulted in the fact that she had upset him.How daredhe do this cold-blooded thing to her! As if she'd marry for less than love!He said between his teeth, 'Yes, you must.Any man deserves an answer, ananswer after careful consideration.Give me a date.I like to plan my lifeahead.I have for years.I've achieved one goal.I want to know what thenext goal is.So give me a date for your answer.Or are you frightened toconsider it?''All right,' she flung at him.'You seem to think I might turn you down flatnow and live to regret it.What an extraordinary--''Well, I do.I think this whole false, strange weekend has been too much foryou.It's coloured for you because of that fellow next door.You've saidyou've no feeling left for him and I could accept that, but the trouble is, he'sthe one you planned to live your life out with.I knew that when I saw oh,let that pass.So I'm being fair.I'm giving you a chance when you're farenough away to look at it dispassionately, to consider my offer again.ifyou're brave enough to do it.''Right, I'll do that.I'll consider it till March.Not a day earlier than the first ofMarch!'Her mind had seized on that date.Kathleen was coming back to Badenoch inFebruary.Time enough before the first of March to meet and to knowwhether or not they could live without each other.Godfrey's brows were a straight line over blazing eyes.'That's a hell of away off.I like things cut and dried.''Well, you aren't going to get them cut and dried.It doesn't seem long to meto decide something that must last a lifetime.'Suddenly his anger evaporated.'Right.The first day of March.Thebeginning of autumn.'Valancy couldn't bear him to have the last word.She said stiffly, 'Of course,if you change your mind, let me know.And be grateful to me.You'd bettergive it long, long thoughts too.'She went to open her door, but he reached out and stopped her.'Oh, no, youdon't! You're not going to upset those thoroughly nice people below byletting them have the tiniest whisker of suspicion that we've quarrelled.They've been through the hoops already, haven't they? Your peopleagonising over Justin jilting you; my aunt going through the same whenKathleen ditched me.Pin a smile on, hold my hand, and come downstairs.'She pinned the smile on, slipped into the pretence, laughed and joked forwhat was left of the evening.She'd rather have hung on to what she thoughtwas her righteous anger.This sort of thing was so disarming.He was somuch a family man, so obsessed with the continuance of a family estate, thatshe believed all he proposed sprang from a desire to please the family inmarriage too.Her last chaotic thought as she fell asleep was: 'And so do I,and so do I.'There was a certain poignancy in the way the staff greeted her next morning,and a sting in it too.If only it could have been for real! Some of them hadread Godfrey's books, and were delighted to meet the author in the flesh, butmostly they were glad for Valancy's sake [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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