Chris Philbrook [Adrian's Und The Failed Coward (epub)

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.Somehow he knew I was coming.He reached out somehow, from far beyond whatever it is that life means, and he told me exactly how his undead body was going to try and kill me.He saved my life, and unless everything I’m feeling is wrong, I think I repaid the favor by putting his mortal form to rest.I don’t know if I saved his soul, but I think killing his body for him gave him some peace.At least now, wherever he is, he knows that he didn’t kill me, and he is no longer a danger to anyone.The regret of having not been at home for him eats at me.It seems the more time passes, the more regret I find for myself.I failed to save my mother.I failed to get to Dorothy and John’s home.I don’t even know if they’re dead or not.I failed to get to Steve’s place before he left town, and I failed to return home to be here for him when he returned.I failed to look for my local siblings.I failed when Dan Haggerty tried to save his son, and instead killed Mrs.Goodell and those students.I failed when I met that young couple with the young boy at the gas station.I failed when I forgot to close the door at that farm on Jones Road.I failed when Sean and his goons came here and I didn’t kill him.Lt.Daniels and a slew of innocents died because of that failure.And we can’t forget my greatest failure of all, Cassie.I feel like there is so much blood on my hands now.All I wanted to do is help people, but it seems I’m not very good at doing that.Humbling to sit here and evaluate myself.The truth really does hurt.It makes me realize just how shitty I am at being a hero.After today’s events, and the events of March 3rd, and the dreams we all seem to be sharing, I am convinced that what is happening is far more than just a virus, or a plague, or a mind controlling fungus, or some toxic chemical the military made.I can say this with absolute certainty; this is happening for a reason.I do NOT mean that there is a definite cause.I mean there is a REASON WHY this is happening.This is an event that is being controlled, or orchestrated by a power that is not rooted in science.As if I had to explain that.Fucking hell.There are ZOMBIES walking around in my hometown.I watched the world implode and eat itself on YoufuckingTube before the internet died.I’ve watched the undead rip the flesh from the living with gnashing teeth.Obviously science is missing something.As I said before; I’m comforted by this epiphany.I sit here, almost happily, imagining that we are being punished for our misdeeds.I think of this as a great test, a final judgment day where we are tried for our misdeeds.And I think to myself this lone thought; I would rather try to be a hero and fail, than live as a successful coward.I hope that the blood on my hands as a result of my efforts is not an indication of my failures, past, present, and future.I now have supreme faith that whoever, or whatever is watching knows that I am trying to do the right thing now.I just hope my good intentions don’t the pave the road to hell.Steve, from the bottom of my heart, I miss you, I love you, and I thank you.-AdrianMarch 27thA decent, uninterrupted night of sleep has given me the focus needed to gather my thoughts.As your parents always tell you Mr.Journal; sleep on it.Sage advice given the events of yesterday.I’m writing this in the morning.I wanted to get this out of my skull before I go off gallivanting about here on campus getting things done, and reassuring my comrades that I am indeed of sound mind.Some of my day will likely be spent reassuring myself that I am of sound mind.It might take some serious convincing.I didn’t have the mental fortitude to go over what I took from my house yesterday in last night’s entry.I think if I can get that out and on “paper” here real quick before I eat breakfast I’ll have a great day, and I’ll be able to move forward more effectively.Steve’s body came back to campus with us.I took him to the funeral pyre we have out near staff housing, and I cremated him.I couldn’t leave his body behind in my house.Not only was it gross to leave a dead body in my own home, but I needed to do something for him.I couldn’t just.leave him there [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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