Christine Wood [Life Plan 01] A Life Plan Without You (epub)

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.You love me too much this is all too much, too soon? So Sam you're dumping me? Like hell you are, that’s a load of tosh.If you loved me at all yet alone as much as you say you do you would be fighting for us, but no run away Sam, leave me… Hells teeth Samuel-Fucking-Todd you can’t leave me you love me too much.You watched me for months not the other way around, so go screw yourself Samuel Todd, you love me too much just to dump me, don’t bloody kid yourself you will sleep with me, because you love me and it’s what I want.Sam all this would go away if I had a stupidly expensive ring on my finger would it?Well tough… I’m too young and too stupid to marry you.I think tonight proves we’re not ready to get married.There have been too many lies and too many secrets.So yes you’re right, we go our separate way now, before I fall so deeply in love with you, that I can’t think straight when I’m not with you, miss you when I can’t hear you or smell you or touch you.Oh wait… It’s too sodding late for that too because I already love you all those ways.Sam, you are a bloody idiot, I don’t just want to have sex with just anyone because if I did I could go in there and get anyone to fuck me, if that’s what I wanted? You’ve seen the looks I get, I know for a fact that both of your fucking brothers would do it me and in a heartbeat.”Stick that one in your pipe Samuel-Fucking-Todd.Oh, this feels so good and oh so overdue, my rant at him continued, my voice getting louder, all the time, and my hands waving in the air and pointing, gosh I was in a little bit of a bad mood…“It will be easy as crap to get anyone else to fuck me Sam dead easy, but I don’t want that, I want you just you.Fuck knows why though you’re damned hard work? You will spend thousands on jewellery, clothes, days and nights out and the thing I want more than all that is the biggest thing you can give me, it’s that commitment thing you want here’s the kicker Sam I want it too and you.I told you if we did that it would be forever.I don’t lie Sam are you that fucking dumb you didn’t realise that was like saying yes I would marry you, how many times have I told you I won’t give it to just anyone, one man only would get that and keep me and that was you, you fucking moron.I wanted you that way, and not all the crap you buy me, just to buy yourself more time until you decide if I’m worthy enough of getting what all the girls in heaven have sodding had! I want you and just you not the cop out gifts you get me, but fuck knows why, so right what to do then? Should I go in there and prove it seeing as your dumping me, is this what you want Sam? So help me Jesus if I walk away I won’t be coming back ever.That much I can promise you Sam!I can’t tell you in any other way than I have just how much I love you, so I thought giving myself to you would prove just how much I loved you, but no you it seems don’t see it like that, you see it as a tool for me to get my claws into you, fuck you use you and then dump you.We, it seems, think totally different things about what the your taking of my gift from me actually meant, it meant forever Sam it meant I was yours forever.” Crap more tears, I feel sick again I’m ranting am I making any sense the words are there I can’t tell him just how much I love him, oh hell I’m going to throw up, badly, I take a deep breath and wobble on my legs, as I continue the rant, in for a penny and all that shit…“I thought, stupidly as it now seems, giving you that gift would make you mine Sam, nobody else’s just mine.Well that’s what it would mean to me.Boy, you’re an arsehole and I’m the biggest poor fool I know for falling so madly and deeply in love with you, what can I do Sam? I can’t stop loving you and you love me too, fucking hell I hate this crap, what do I fucking know about love and sex apart from its killing me, not being able to have you, like all the those many others have had you, others who, I might add, you didn’t even profess to fucking love, all the names on toilet doors can have that but not me, why, why not Sam? Do you not think I’m screwed up about that, that’s the biggest commitment I will ever make to someone? You idiot I chose to give you that to just you, so hahaha lets see who wants the gift I have then shall we, who do I choose then Andy, James or one of the Jolly’s?”I walked off and he ran after me and grabbed my arm.He held me tightly, his eyes bloodshot, his face pale.I have never sworn as much in my whole life, but he’s making me angrier and angrier.I shrug myself from his grip and walk off.He grabs me again and I can’t move from his grip this time [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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