You Can Win

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.Recognize the nonverbalcommunication, such as facial expressions, eye contact, etc.They might becommunicating a different message from the verbal.f& Listen to feelings and not just words.Step 9: Be EnthusiasticNothing great is ever achieved without enthusiasm.--Ralph Waldo EmersonEnthusiasm and success go hand in hand, but enthusiasm comes first.Enthusiasminspires confidence, raises morale, builds loyalty! and is priceless.Enthusiasm iscontagious.You can feel enthusiasm by the way a person talks, walks or shakes hands.Enthusiasm is a habit that one can acquire and practice.Many decades ago, Charles Schwab, who was earning a salary of a million dollars ayear, was asked if he was being paid such a high salary because of his exceptionalability to produce steel.Charles Schwab replied, "I consider my ability to arouseenthusiasm among the men the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop thebest that is in a man is by appreciation and encouragement."Live while you are alive.Don't die before you are dead.Enthusiasm and desire are whatchange mediocrity to excellence.Water turns into steam with a difference of only onedegree in temperature and steam can move some of the biggest engines in the world.That is what enthusiasm helps us to do in our lives.Step 10: Give Honest and Sincere AppreciationThe psychologist William James said, "One of the deepest desires of human beings isthe desire to be appreciated.The feeling of being unwanted is hurtful."Page 112 of 175Expensive jewels are not real gifts; they are apologies for shortcomings.Many times webuy gifts for people to compensate for not spending enough time with them.Real gifts arewhen you give a part of yourself.Sincere appreciation is one of the greatest gifts one can give to another person.It makesa person feel important.The desire to feel important is one of the greatest cravings inmost human beings.It can be a great motivator.The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis but rather the feeling of beingunwanted.--Mother TeresaAppreciation, in order to be effective, must meet certain criteria:1.It must be specific.If I tell someone that he did a good job, and walk away, what will gothrough his mind? He will think, "What did I do good.?" He will be confused.But when Isay, "The way you handled that difficult customer was great," then he knows what heis being appreciated for.2.It must be immediate.The effectiveness is diluted if we show our appreciation forsomeone six months after he has done something commendable.3.It must be sincere.It must come from the heart.You must mean every word.What isthe difference between appreciation and flattery? The difference is sincerity.Onecomes from the heart, the other from the mouth.One has an ulterior motive and theother is sincere.Some people find it easier to flatter than to give sincere praise.Don'tflatter or get taken in by flatterers.It's an old maxim in the schoolsthat flattery's the food of foolsYet now and then you men of witwill condescend to take a bit.--Jonathan Swift4.Don't qualify praise with a but.By using the but as a connector, we erase theappreciation.Use "and," "in addition to that" or some other appropriate connector.Say something like "I appreciate your effort and would you please." rather than "Iappreciate your effort but."5.After giving appreciation, it is not important to wait for a receipt or acknowledgement.Some people are looking for a compliment in return.That is not the purpose ofappreciation.If you are receiving appreciation, accept it graciously with a "thank-you."It is easier to deal with honest rejection than insincere appreciation.At least the personknows where he stands.Insincere appreciation is like a mirage in the desert.The closeryou get, the more disappointed you become because it is nothing more than an illusion.People put up a front of sincerity as a cover up.Step 11: When We Make a Mistake, We Should Accept It immediately and WillinglyWhen I am wrong, make me easy to change; and when I am right, make me easy to livewith.This is a good philosophy to live by.Page 113 of 175Some people live and learn while others live and never learn.Mistakes are to be learnedfrom.The greatest mistake a person can make is to repeat it.Don't assign blame andmake excuses.Don't dwell on it.When you realize your mistake, it is a good idea toaccept it and apologize.Don't defend it.Why? Acceptance disarms the other person.Step 12: When the Other Person Realizes and Admits That He Has Made a Mistake,Congratulate Him and Give Him a Way Out to Save FaceIf we don't let him save face, we are hurting his self esteem.Step 13: Discuss But Don't ArgueThere are some personalities that can be labelled as argumentative and that shows intheir behavior and relationships.Arguments can be avoided and a lot of heartache prevented by being a little careful.Thebest way to win an argument is to avoid it.An argument is one thing you will never win.Ifyou win, you lose; if you lose, you lose.If you win an argument but lose a good job,customer, friend or marriage, what kind of victory is it? Pretty empty.Arguments resultfrom inflated ego.Arguing is like fighting a losing battle.Even if one wins, the cost may be more than thevictory is worth.Emotional battles leave a residual ill will even if you win.In an argument, both people are trying to have the last word.Argument is nothing morethan a battle of egos and results in a yelling contest.A bigger fool than the one whoknows it all is the one who argues with him.Is It worth It?The more arguments you win, the fewer friends you have.Even if you are right, is it wortharguing? The answer is pretty obvious.A big no.Does that mean one should never bringup a point? One should, but gently and tactfully by saying something neutral such as"based on my information." If the other person is argumentative, even if you can provehim wrong, is it worth it? I don't think so [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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