Christopher Anvil Prescription for Chaos (com v4

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.CAUTION: In some persons, Nullergin-200 has been found to apparently induce a sense of friendliness; discontinue use where this side effect is undesirable.Where, Hommel asked himself, would a sense of friendliness be "undesirable"? Then he shrugged.The main thing was, this blessing for allergy sufferers was on the market.The sales of Nullergin-200, with a minimum of advertising, picked up steadily.By hay-fever season, the cash registers were ringing all over the country.It was then that Banner called Hommel into his office."How's that antidote coming?""It's quite a complex problem.But we're making measurable progress.""Measurable progress? Well, put all the man power on it you need, because we're getting into a measurable mess."Hommel looked blank."What do you mean?"Banner had several newspapers on his desk, and tossed one over."Look at the headlines."Hommel read:ULTERIOR STRIKE SETTLEDManagement Yields After Long StruggleBanner said, "Take a look at that picture."Hommel frowned at a photograph of two men, the first grinning in triumph, the second smiling benevolently, with his arm around the other's shoulder.Behind them stood several rows of men, some smiling, some scowling, a few with handkerchiefs at their faces.Hommel said blankly."I see it.But—""Look at the part of the story that's circled."Hommel spotted several paragraphs marked in heavy pencil:Mr.Scharg explained that he wished the union well, and hoped the company would be able to offer a similar raise every year.Asked for his comment, Mr.Kraggenpaugh, the union representative, expressed contentment with the contract "for the time being.If the management had accepted this offer earlier, it would have saved everyone trouble.This proves they could have done it all along."Not available for comment was Maurice De Pugh, executive vice president, who earlier argued that accepting the union's demand would put the company out of business.Mr.Scharg's sudden reversal took everyone by surprise.The question now raised is how Ulterior, in light of the latest drop in sales, can afford a pay raise it rejected last year, when it was making a profit.Mr.Scharg's report to the upcoming stockholders' meeting is eagerly awaited.Hommel frowned, and looked back at the photograph.The man smiling in friendship was identified as Mr.Scharg.The man grinning in triumph was Mr.Kraggenpaugh.He studied the photograph more closely, and noticed that, of the men who had handkerchiefs raised, two apparently were blowing their noses, and one had his eyes shut, as if sneezing violently.Banner said, "Kind of an unusual thing, Mort.""It certainly is." Studying the photograph, Hommel could see a bulge in the pocket of Scharg's suit coat.It could be a pair of gloves.But who would carry gloves in hot weather? It could be a handkerchief.But Scharg did not look as if pollen were bothering him.Or it could be a pill bottle.Banner said, "Mort, this stuff doesn't put a man into a stupor, does it?""No.""What happens if he takes an overdose?""Well, the more he takes, the greater the.the effect.""The more pills he takes, the friendlier he gets?"Unwillingly, Hommel said, "Yes."Banner handed across another paper.Hommel was confronted by large headlines:KIDNAP VICTIM SAFE!Police Recover YouthIn High-Speed ChaseFather Hugs KidnapperA photograph showed a well-dressed man pumping the hand of a tough-looking individual handcuffed to an astonished policeman.Hommel glanced at the text:".But this is the man who kidnapped your son!""I don't care," the boy's father told the police officer."I just feel friendly toward everyone."Hommel looked up."We don't know he was using our product.""Can you think of some other explanation?""No." Hommel looked puzzled."Neither can I.And here's something else I never heard of before." He handed Hommel a page torn out of a magazine.Reluctantly, Hommel took it, to see an advertisement showing a cheerful overalled figure holding an electric drill, a section of an article about a high-speed passenger train, a small ad for a suction-plunger to clean out drains, and finally a paragraph circled in heavy pencil:LONELY? NEED FRIENDS?Our method brings Guaranteed Results.No need to exchange photos.This is not a pen-pal club.This method is New and Proven.You pick who you want for a friend in advance [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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