Joe R Lansdale [Collins Pine 3] The Two Bear Mambo

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.I think he con that white sonofabitch down herewith that music business, thinking he gonna get big money out of him, thenBobby Joe got drunk, and didn't think it through, decided to go for the shortchange.Just killed him for what he had in his wallet.Bobby Joe like that.Mean as ass rash.He might just thought it would be funny to see thatpeckerwood squirm.You know how they found that white man?""No.""Hung by his heels from a tree with his throat cut.""Damn.Taking another angle on the subject, thing we came here for, Bacon,reason we ended up takin' this beatin', is we're trying to find a woman.""What man ain't?""A certain woman.Named Florida.Good-lookin' young black woman, came here notlong back? You saw her, you'd remember her.""That black fox? Shoot, she here fifteen minutes, everyone knew it.Every harddick in niggertown was after her, and the peckerwoods was watchin' too.I wasstill able to trot, I'd have been after her.""She was interested in the Soothe case.She was here to look into it.Do youknow what happened to her?""She a fool.Come down this side of town talking about how she wanted tomaintain Bobby Joe Soothe's legacy, like he had one.It was ole L.C.had thelegacy.Bobby Joe could pick a guitar some, but he was a scum hole, and a scumhole don't deserve no legacy, 'sides that hole I dug for 'm.If'n he'd atakin' up preachin', he'd have been the perfect villain.As was, he once cutup his nephew.""I heard that story.""Hear about the German shepherd?""Yeah.""Well, that ain't true.That ole dog was part collie.""I don't suppose you caught the dog's name?""Ralph.Tell you another one.Bobby Joe, he goin' to one of the joints, and hestepped in some cat shit by the door.Fella owns the joint, he got all kindsof cats.Don't really take good care of 'em none.Just lets 'em run wild.Throws a little food out the back, and well, them cats ain't spayed, and nextto a rat and rabbit, ain't nothing likes to fuck better'n a cat.So theyalways makin' baby cats.Cat shit all over that place.Bobby Joe, he did hisdrinkin' there 'cause everyone was scared of him, and he liked that.He likedPage 66ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.htmlto go a place where people was afraid of him.Made him feel like a big dick.Anyways, he steps in this cat shit, and you know what he does?""I can't even begin to guess.""He goes in and gets him a beer mug, and he scoops up some cat crap with it,then he comes in and makes the owner buy himself a beer.You know, take moneyout of his own pocket and put it in the register.""Least he gets the money back," I said."That's right.Who says life ain't fair.Well, Bobby Joe makes this owner,Tiny Joe Timpson, called that 'cause he's big as a bear standing on a block ofwood, makes this guy pour that beer on top of the cat shit, and drink it.AndBobby Joe, he ain't no big guy.Ain't no midget, but ain't no big guy either.That Tiny, he done killed six folks this year.Caught two of 'em breakin' inthe place, killed two others 'cause he was fuckin' around with their wives andthey caught on, and done killed two women.One of 'em 'cause she got mad Tinywas keepin' her husband down at the bar all hours of the night.She complainedand words got tossed, then Tiny shot her.Called it self-defense.Can-tuck, helooked into it, but wasn't no one contradicted Tiny.Said she tried to killhim with a beer mug.""What about the other woman?""She was asleep in the driveway, and he backed over her.""She pass out there?""Yeah, right after Tiny hit her in the head with a Coke bottle.""Cantuck didn't do nothing?""He tried, but black folks, they keep things to themselves, and the whitefolks, they let 'em.But you can see the kind of guy Tiny is, and this BobbyJoe, he makes Tiny drink this beer with the cat shit in it.""Man, I don't think that'll catch on.""Tiny made sure it didn't.Next day, he got his shotgun, and he shot all themcats, and when he run out of shells he beat the rest of 'em to death.Hewouldn't even hang a picture of a cat in his place now.That cat shit, it'salways right there in the back of his throat.""I wasn't under the impression Florida was here to find out about his legacy.She was planning to write some kind of article on him.""Heard some of the guys say somethin' about that, but I don't know about it.She liked to hang over at the roadhouse, talk to people about Bobby Joe likehe was some kind of star.She wanted to buy his guitar, music tapes, stufflike that.She had the money for it and she told anyone would listen to hershe did.Them boys over there, they was tellin' her all that shit about howL.C.and Bobby Joe sold their souls to the devil at the crossroads and drankthe devil's piss and such to play guitar, and she was eatin' it up.""I don't understand why she'd talk to just anyone about buying Soothe'sstuff.""'Cause she couldn't find none of L.C.s or Bobby Joe's stuff on her own, andhis relatives didn't have nothin' of his, didn't want nothing to do with him.They were scared of him.Hell, he used to rape his own sister.They say afemale dog run across the yard, he'd chase it down, fuck it and kill it.Theywasn't no sorrier sonofabitch than Bobby Joe.He born bad, man.All thatlegacy stuff started 'cause Bobby Joe did a little playin' around Tyler, andsomeone on some magazine or paper or somethin' interviewed him, and he toldall these stories about how he had L.C.'s stuff, and he talked that voodoojive, said he had some unpublished songs L.C.had written out, and he had acouple songs on tape was recorded way back but never put on record.""Did he?""Not that I know of.Not that anyone I know knew of.""You're sayin' Florida was fishing?""And she was offering money for information.Lots of money.Them roadhouselizards, about half of 'em ain't worth a shit.They'd tell her anything shewant to hear they think they might make'm a dollar or get 'em some pussy.Andit piss me off when anyone try to make somethin' special out of that nigger.He was sorry, just plain sorry.He meet that white boy at a roadhouse here.IPage 67ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.htmlseen 'em there.I was drinking a beer and watching 'em, and ole Bobby Joe hadthat white boy eating out his hand.Talkin' that music shit, playing like hesome kind of jive nigger, and that ole white boy, he just shakin' his headlike he was talkin' to some kind of god.He was talkin' to the devil, that'swho he was talkin' to.They left together in that white boy's car, and wasn'tmore'n a couple hours after that, they found that peckerwood with his throatcut, hanging from a tree just off the highway, right by the goddamn road ledup to Bobby Joe's house.Bobby Joe smart in one way, but in another he just adrunk field hand with a bad temper.He didn't think no farther than the lengthof his dick or the deep of his thirst.That's the way he was, and that's allthere was to it."All that voodoo shit didn't do him no good when that Officer Reynolds showup [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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