Joe R Lansdale [Collins Pine 4] Bad Chili

[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
.Hap, you listen here.We re buddies, but when it comes to murder, that don tbuy much.Hear me talkin ? I hear you.I keep hearin you.What the hell is with you? I still thinkyou re pissed about Kmart closing down. It s not an easy thing to get over.But don t change the subject.I ll makesure Leonard gets as fair a shake as he can get.If it s self-defense, I ll doPage 29ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.htmlall I can to get him off.But I ll tell you now.I m comin after him, and ifI discover you ve had anything to do with hiding him, then I m coming afteryou too. You said I had twenty-four hours.My understanding of that was I found himduring that time, could straighten out things, you wouldn t bother me.Even ifI did know where he was.Isn t that right? I had twenty-four hours, didn t I? Had.You got a lot less now.But I also said no promises if things changedaround here. Has something changed?Charlie let me hear the electricity in the phone for a while. Well, has it? I asked. Just find Leonard, Charlie said, and listen close.I m coming after you,and he hung up.I thought about that a moment, then understood what Charlie was trying to tellme.I called Leonard.I let it ring a couple times, hung up.Let it ring acouple times, hung up.Then repeated it.I hoped he d realize it was some kindof code.The third set of rings someone picked up the phone.I said, This is me.Ifthat s you, might I suggest a stroll in the forest?The phone went dead.I took a moment to wonder if my phone was tapped, decidedthings had happened too quickly for that.I was okay.I was just feeling astreak of secret agent.I pushed out of the phone booth and walked over to my truck.Down the road apiece I saw a yellow 66 Pontiac parked next to the curb.There was a mansitting in it wearing a cowboy hat.He didn t look like any of the cops Iknew.He didn t look like a cop.He didn t look like anybody I knew, period.He didn t seem to be watching me.The phone booth was next to a 7-Eleven store.I went inside and bought a DietCoke in a plastic bottle and a bag of peanuts.I drank the Diet Coke down abit, poured peanuts into it, and went outside.I climbed into my truck andlooked in my mirror.The Pontiac was gone.Probably just some guy waiting for someone in one of the houses along thestreet.Or maybe he d stopped to check a map.Pull his dick.Anything.I hadto lighten up.I was starting to be one paranoid sonofabitch.I drove away, an eye on the mirror, watching for yellow Pontiacs or low-flyingstealth aircraft with radar.9Ididn t go directly home.I was sort of afraid to.I figured Charlie would besearching my place, and if Leonard had heeded my warning, he wouldn t bethere.It might also be better if I didn t come up on Charlie and his folksgoing through my underwear drawer.I wouldn t want to embarrass them.I drove downtown and went to the all-day dollar movie and had popcorn.Thepopcorn was okay, but the movie wasn t very good.I walked out about halfwaythrough and stopped off at the yogurt joint and had a cone.When I finished my cone, I cruised over to the bookshop and looked around themagazine rack.I didn t see anyBoobs and Butts there.Where did Charlie findthat stuff? I hung around long enough the clerks began to watch mesuspiciously.I bought a couple comic books, aBatman and aSpider-Man , andleft.When I got home, Leonard wasn t there.I gave the house the once-over, wentout on the back porch, and saw him strolling toward me from the woods.He hadthe twelve-gauge in one hand, a shovel over his shoulder, and I could see hisrevolver in the waistband of his pants.Leonard smiled. Thanks for the phone tip.I watched from the woods.Charlieand a blue suit showed up with the sheriff.They worked your lock and wentinside and looked around. That means they have a search warrant. Probably.They were inside about twenty minutes. They did good.I can t tell they ve been here.They even locked the door onthe way out.Page 30ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html They looked around outside too.Found the sheets covered in pig shit. They take the sheets with them? No.At this point they probably haven t put the pig shit and my daring escapetogether.I was smart enough to bury my clothes in the woods.I was going todo the sheets next.Actually, I don t think putting me and the pig shittogether is going to mean anything anyway. You re probably right about that.Something new has happened.Now you reconnected to all this officially, and Charlie had to come check my place as alikely hiding spot.We sat down on the back porch and I told Leonard what I had found at hishouse.Told him about my conversation with Charlie. Any ideas? I asked. Was the stuff really wrecked? Were my books ruined? They re messed up.Some of them. The TV s screwed? Looks that way.And the stereo. Shit. Your J.C.Penney s suit was tossed on the floor too. Now that fucker is dealing with dynamite.I nodded. I knew that would get you. Seems to me someone thinks I have something I don t.If I do, I don t knowwhat it is, and I don t know how I came by it or why I d want it.And even ifI did, that s no excuse to fuck with a man s J.C.Penney s suit. Or maybe they think Raul has something. I hadn t thought of that, Leonard said. Or maybe they thought Horse Dick had something, and now they think Raul hasit, and they thought he was hiding it at your house. Or someone thinks what Horse Dick had and Raul had, I now have. Or maybe it s a disgruntled hair patron of Raul s, I said. A little toomuch off the ears and he s ready to flatten the kid s head. Come to think of it, he cut my hair once or twice, and I sort of avoided himafter that.He tended to poke you with the scissors. I ll tell you this, I said. If I had something that the guy owning thatshoe printed wanted, I might be inclined to give it to him.Help him carry itout to the car, give him a blow job, wipe his ass, give his car a pushuphill. That big, huh? No.I just made all this shit up for your amusement.Leonard sighed. Sorry.I m beginning to think I was born under a badsign.Do you think Raul s dead? I don t know.Maybe that s the news the cops got.Maybe to them it s lookinglike you did him in too.I m not saying he s dead, I m just saying if he is,it ll compound things. Jesus, I hope he s all right.And not just for my sake. We re jumping a lot of ditches here for no reason, Leonard.We don t knowanything.Not really [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

Linki