Christine Anderson Life of the Party (epub)

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.”The chords changed, the strumming got stronger as he entered the chorus.“Mackenzie, I hope you miss meWhen I’m gone, when I’m gone.I gotta go now, but you need to know howMuch you’re loved, how much you’re loved ….”His voice was beautiful, silky and rough.I sat on the bed, watching and listening to him in utter disbelief.Grey had written me a song, and that would’ve been enough to cause the happy tears that sprang to my eyes, even if he hadn’t said he loved me.Those affectionate words rang in my head and echoed in my heart, swollen with happiness.I smiled at him through my tears.“That’s all I have so far.” He shrugged, and his smile was bashful.“That was the most beautiful ….” I shook my head, at a loss for words.I gave up speaking and crawled over the bed to him.I placed my hands gently on his face, looking up into his eyes shining silvery blue in the moonlight.Beautiful.“I will miss you, so much.Every minute.” I whispered.I moved my lips up to his.“I love you.”He wrapped his arms around me, tight and warm, pulling me close.And his guitar, unheeded, slid to the floor with a noisy lurch.CHAPTER 40Grey was gone again.The days resumed themselves much the same as they had before—Charlie and I got as high as we could, went to work, came home, got high, and then went to bed to start it all over again the next morning.The only difference was now I took it much easier, I didn’t go nearly as hard, and I didn’t go out anymore.Grey called me every day.Sometimes he was busy and would just say hi, sometimes he’d have time and we’d spend nearly all night talking on the phone together.It wasn’t a perfect scenario, but it was the best it could be, given the circumstances.The cocaine helped the time pass, but even that wasn’t as rewarding as it used to be.I still loved it, it still felt amazing, but I noticed I had to do more and more of the drug to get as high as I once did.Also the buzz wasn’t lasting near as long.All of my tips now went towards my drug habit so I could chase down the high I was craving, but it just wasn’t as … satisfying as it used to be.Before I knew it, the month of August was passing by, the summer heat waning as the days ticked nearer to the end.The leaves on the trees were slowly starting to turn colors, and there was a bite to the wind that one could only associate with the coming of fall.In the blink of an eye, it seemed, the summer had passed, but it had been everything I’d hoped for.Memorable, amazing, fun, exciting and new.I looked forward to September, not only did it mean that Grey would be back, but I would be celebrating my eighteenth birthday in only a matter of weeks.It was so exciting; I was going to party my ass off, I couldn’t wait.I realized then, when thinking of my birthday, that a day had come and gone without me even noticing it.It was strange to me, since for the last two some odd years I had set this day as a pivotal landmark in the journey of my life, and my … I should say our … entire future had been centered on it.I’d missed Riley’s birthday.It had been a big deal for us, it meant that he’d be able to score us booze and cigarettes whenever we wanted … really, nothing is more depressing that not being of age.Nothing is more humbling that begging anybody older than eighteen, mostly strangers, to boot smokes for you.I’d really hit the jackpot with all my older friends now, it was no problem to get hooked up with anything I wanted, but at the time, back then, Riley turning eighteen was a huge climb up the ladder of our social lives.I hadn’t really thought about Riley since the night his voice had abruptly entered my mind.Sometimes it was inevitable, if we were driving past his house or if I saw something that reminded me of him, his face would flash before my eyes.But I wouldn’t let myself dwell on him; I’d push the image away, ignoring it as best I could.Now, carefully, I allowed myself a brief instant to wonder what Riley was doing, who he was doing it with, if he were really happy, and if he’d found what he’d been looking for.I wondered if he ever thought of me.Or if he’d forgotten all about me.The sadness bubbled up in me again, like Riley had just left, the pain fresh and raw.I remembered then why I was forbidden to think about him.I couldn’t let my guard down, even a little bit, or I’d be crippled by the gnawing ache.I missed him.As much as I wanted to deny it, as badly as I wanted those feelings to go away, to just disappear, I missed Riley with all of my being.And there was nothing I could do but push it away, bury it down deep, and pretend it didn’t exist.Just like I was doing with my parents.I hadn’t seen or spoken to them since Marcy’s wedding.I wouldn’t even dream of heading over there for Sunday supper, though I wasn’t sure the invitation still stood.I had a feeling I wasn’t exactly welcome over there anymore, at least, not for a while.Mom had left a message on my phone about picking up the stuff I’d left at the hotel, but remembering the furious looks on the faces of my family members when I left the wedding, I figured I’d just leave it for now.I wasn’t in the mood for a lecture, but knew I had one coming.It was nice to be free of them.About this time last year they’d been bugging me about school supplies and class registrations and college applications.As happy as I was that they were off my back now, it felt strange not to be preparing for the start of school.The first few days back had always been a bit exciting, seeing everyone you missed over the summer, catching up with them, showing off how much weight you’d lost and how much you’d matured in the few months spent apart.That feeling of excitement was still in the air, I could sense it—I think it had something to do with the changing of the seasons.But it was all the more exciting to me knowing I didn’t have to go back.Somehow—I don’t know, a miracle from heaven maybe—I had actually graduated high school.My real diploma came in the mail one day, and my transcripts showed that I had passed every class, though just barely.I hung the paper happily on the fridge, my ticket to freedom, the approval I needed to keep enjoying my life just the way it was.And it was awesome.I loved being on my own, doing my own thing, taking care of myself.I loved my new friends and my boyfriend and partying with them and just living for a good time [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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