Steele Brothers 5 Kane Cheryl Douglas

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.I took care of you for my own selfish reasons. You did? she asked, adjusting her pillow so her head was propped up. Yeah. I swallowed, tamping down the urge to swallow my words.But I couldn t.This was tooimportant. I wanted you to love me, Mace.Her eyes welled up with tears, but she said nothing. I wanted you to see that I could make you happy, that I could be a good husband. I cleared mythroat, bringing her curled hand to my mouth.I kissed it softly as I stared into her eyes. I wanted tohelp you heal, not just physically but emotionally. You did, she whispered. I know your last relationship took a lot out of you.For the first time, she broke eye contact, looking at my wedding ring instead. You have noidea. It was a long-term relationship.You obviously saw a future with him, probably thought aboutmarrying him and having kids someday. I wanted her to agree, because if she d considered that kindof life with him, maybe, just maybe, she d give me the same chance.She bit her lip, emotions drawing a faint line between her eyebrows. By spending time here together, I guess I wanted to show you that you had other options.Justbecause your relationship with him is over doesn t mean you can t find love with someone else, ifyou give yourself a chance. I want to be clear about something, she said, resolve apparent in her steady gaze. I neverloved him.I thought I did.But I ve had a lot of time to think. About? The man he was.The person I was when I was with him.Who we were together. She shookher head slowly, as though she was still working through how to define that period of her life. Thatwasn t love.He may have thought he loved me.I thought I loved him.But what we had was a commongoal, a shared love for music.We came together because of that and stayed together because wewanted to believe we were in love.I let her hand go as I leaned back, bracing my hands on the table. Look, I m no expert when itcomes to stuff like this.I can t tell you how to define it or how it s supposed to feel. I still couldn tbelieve I was the one spewing these words.My brothers would laugh their asses off if they couldhear me now. All I know is how I feel. Tell me, she said, tucking her hands under her cheek as she faced me. How do you feel? I want you with me. I gave myself a minute to imagine what our lives could be like if sheagreed to stay. I want you to see the real me.I m not always brave and fearless.Sometimes I mscared to death of dying, mostly because I feel I m not done living.There s so much I still want to do.And a lot of that revolves around having a family of my own.She smiled. You want kids? Yeah. I held my breath, wondering whether I had the right to ask the next question while thefuture of our marriage still hung in the balance. You? Yeah, sure.Someday.That was good enough for me.But I wanted her to know what she was getting into if she choseme.I didn t want to make false promises or paint her a picture of how bright it would be when I knewfull well that a lot of darkness and shadows would balance the light.I loved her too much to deceiveher. Some nights I come home literally shaking from adrenaline because I had another brush withdeath.She sucked in a breath, then blew it out slowly as she waited for me to continue. There ve been dozens of times when I ve wondered how much longer I can cheat death.I couldgo back to work and get killed my first day on the job, Mace. I wiped away a tear that trailed downher cheek. That s my reality.I can t avoid it.Most people face the possibility of death every day.They just don t see it as clearly as I do.We get into a car, board a plane, cross a street hell, crossthe wrong person and we could meet our maker. I know. But I made a decision a long time ago that I d rather live my life full out, facing risks, than shyaway from them and live half a life. That s a big part of the reason I love you. She smiled at my shocked expression. Not becauseyou re fearless.Because you re man enough to admit you re not fearless. You love me? Of course I love you, she said, laughing through her tears as though how she felt about meshould have been obvious. You have to ask? Uh, yeah.She struggled to sit up, and I rushed to help her.She was getting stronger, more independentevery day.I would selfishly miss these days when she didn t need me anymore.Patting the sofa, sheinvited me to sit beside her.When I put my arm around her, she rested her hand on my thigh, leaning into me. What shappened between us has been one of the most incredible and unexpected experiences of my life. Ditto.She grinned, tipping her head back to look at me. I d be lying if I said your job doesn t scarethe hell out of me, because it does.When we have kids, it ll probably scare me even more.I don tknow if I could be a single parent.I was too stunned to speak, so I simply rested my lips against her temple, closing my eyes as I letthe impact of her words settle over me. Then you do want a family? With me? Yes, but Before you say anything, let me say something.I love what I do.I love being in the thick ofthings, but I enjoyed being a detective too.I expect a time will come when I decide sitting behind adesk is the right course of action for me and my family. I d given this a lot of thought over the years,and I d do it for her as much as I would for myself. Kane, I d never ask you to give up something you love for me.That wouldn t be fair to eitherone of us.I loved her even more, not because she d said that but because she meant it. I grew up with anabsentee father.I would never leave my kids without a father, not if I could help it.So when and if theday comes when we re blessed with a baby, we ll figure it out.I just want you to know I m preparedto make changes. I swallowed, trying to find the words I d never expected to say. I love my job, butif it came down to it and you couldn t handle the risks I take, I wouldn t put you through hell for thesake of my job.I d ask my boss to reassign me. I love you, she whispered, stroking my face. God, I love everything about you. I feel the same way. I kissed her softly before my eyes grazed her perfect features. I love lawenforcement, but I love you more.It will always be a part of me.But I can already tell you ll be thebest part of me.She covered her heart with her hand, fighting back tears. How d I get so lucky?I brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. Funny, I was just asking myself that same question. As long as we re talking about compromises& Her gaze finally left mine and rested on theframed family photos lining my mantel. I ve decided to make a few of my own. Such as? I love music, she said. Probably as much as you love law enforcement. No doubt. We have that in common, I think.We ve been so focused on our passions for so long, wehaven t made room for anything or anyone else in our lives, not really. That s true.At least in my case it is. You talked about ways you could still do what you love and have a family.Well, I ve realizedthe same is true for me.It doesn t have to be all or nothing.I can keep writing and hopefully sellingmusic.It just means I have to get a lot better at letting go of my songs. You think you could do that? I asked. Learn to let go? I have to. She shifted her body slightly so she was leaning her back against my chest. I haveto recognize songs as what they are an opportunity to connect with people [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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